8 weeks 6 days

I feel crappy because I haven't thought of anything this clever this year. :( I don't want to do the same thing again, but I suppose a card with Gavins and my name and the someday to come baby might be cute, but it hasn't been 12 weeks yet so I am nervous still that something bad could still happen. The first time we miscarried we didn't know what we were missing. I feel like if there is a miscarriage this time we would be so much more devastated than before we had Gavin. Then there is the question of, if so, do I delete this blog? Jeeze I don't even want to think about it!

I Love you with all my heart!

Mike

8 weeks 4 days

Last night I read to you from the new baby book because you said you weren't as motivated to read this time around. It's a plus because now I have a good reason to read the book too. This new book "Your Pregnancy & Birth 4th Ed" is actually very detailed as to the hormones and stuff that are released. As an added bonus we are going over Obstetrics in Paramedic class now and it really does help cement the process in my head because the book is as detailed as my current Medic book.

There is one drawback to the reading...We both get so excited when we read it we don't want to wait another 32 weeks! Good news for you tho! By the time you read this we will have a new baby already!

Right now the baby is 1.5 to 2.0 inches long and less than an ounce but the heart is already beating. Right now he or she is still an embryo, but in the 9th week the baby becomes a fetus. I think its a lateral move. More work, but no more money kind of thing.

7 weeks 6 days

You are super excited because the Chinese birth calendar says the baby will be a girl. You don't want to get your hopes up so you get mad and excited when I talk to "my baby girl". We like the name Gracie for a girl, and it is even a G name for a girl, of which, there are not a lot of good options. We like Garrett, Gage and Gabriel. I am leaning toward Gage, but think you are liking Garrett more. Gabriel was the front runner when we had Gavin and we changed it at the last minute to Gavin. I am not even sure when it happened.

7 weeks 4 days

This time around I look at the baby book on the back of the toilet, but I can't seem to bring myself to pick it up and start reading. This makes me sad. I don't want to make excuses, but with working full-time and Paramedic school full-time and working at the fire station part-time I feel like I can't get anything else into my head right now. I play this stupid game online, because it seems to help me forget, but I know that is going to have to end soon. I need to take some time to regroup and do home stuff even if it is just for a week or so. Then again this cardiac section in school is kicking my butt so hopefully I can study in there some place too. We moved a bunch of stuff out of the basement because we want to finish it, so I am hoping that I can do that soon. We don't really have the money for that, but we are slowly getting ahead. Just in time for a new baby. Yikes.

Was this the right idea? I know you are asking yourself the same thing right now. I can't help but think "Crap! I hope we did the right thing." In my heart tho I know we can make it together. The little boat of you and me!

Deja Vu all over again.

I swore I wouldn't treat my second child any different than my first, and even tho I know that is impossible, I am writing this with that in mind.

We decided that this would be the right time to have another child because I would be finishing school in August and even if we did get pregnant in the first month of trying the baby would be born in September, besides, what are the chances that would would be so lucky again? Uh...Yeah.

You are currently 8 weeks pregnant with our second child and the butterflies in my stomach are no different than they were with our first. The miscarriage possibility looms large again and the other day you told me you were cramping. Even tho I told you it's normal to have some cramping, my heart sunk. I ask you every couple days and you haven't cramped since, but I am still so worried about you.