15 Weeks 1 day

Today I was called in for a shift at the fire Department. Normally that isn't a problem, but I already work a 24 tomorrow and I have Clinical from 8 am to 4 pm on Sunday so I am going to be away from you guys for 48 hours straight. I am kinda bummed out, but we really need the money with the little one on the way. It was so nice because you brought Gavin to come see me at the station and we got to talk for a little while. He was playing and grabbed that rubberband from the radio room and put it on his wrist. So funny. I found it laying on the Coke machine low shelf just a second ago so I put it on my wrist cuz I am thinking about you guys. I miss you so much. New baby I just want you to know daddy is working just as hard for you as anyone. I love you already.

Love,
Daddy

13 weeks 4 days

Every once in awhile you get a sharp pain in your lower abdomen. A quick search on the Internet reveals: "Round ligament pain may result in short, stabbing and sharp aches in one or both sides of the abdomen." This is pretty much exactly what you are describing to me and there is no spotting or cramping associated so that makes me feel a lot better. Lately I am having an overwhelming urge just to hear your voice and hear what is going on at home. I miss you guys so much lately. It's all I can do not to call you. I miss you all so much!

12 weeks 1 day

You had a doctors appointment yesterday and you told me you could hear the babies heartbeat. It totally made me misty. I guess I was just so relieved that everything is going well. They also gave you the glucose test because Gavin was so huge when he was born they want to make sure you don't have gestational diabetes. I thought they tested you for that when you had Gavin too and everything came out negative, but I could be wrong.

11 weeks 1 day

Last night we were reading the scrap book I made of the blog I put up for Gavin, and it inspired me to write this entry. Because, as much as it brought me back to that time, I almost could not even picture myself writing all that stuff. His arrival has answered so many of the questions I had that my brain can almost not even conceive of having the question in the first place if that makes any sense. I read entries to you and we cried and laughed and thought about what this baby has in store for us. But during all that emotion and feeling the magnitude of the things I wrote I feel like I am almost cheating this new baby with this blog. The whole reason I started writing this was to combat that. I finally see what my parents went through when I came along, and it is kinda sad. The strange thing is I am more excited about this pregnancy than the first because I KNOW what is in store for the most part and I can enjoy it and cherish it all the more. So I guess I just typed myself into understanding why this baby is so special to me. I guess that is the beauty of not editing what I type.

I love you with all my heart!

8 weeks 6 days

I feel crappy because I haven't thought of anything this clever this year. :( I don't want to do the same thing again, but I suppose a card with Gavins and my name and the someday to come baby might be cute, but it hasn't been 12 weeks yet so I am nervous still that something bad could still happen. The first time we miscarried we didn't know what we were missing. I feel like if there is a miscarriage this time we would be so much more devastated than before we had Gavin. Then there is the question of, if so, do I delete this blog? Jeeze I don't even want to think about it!

I Love you with all my heart!

Mike

8 weeks 4 days

Last night I read to you from the new baby book because you said you weren't as motivated to read this time around. It's a plus because now I have a good reason to read the book too. This new book "Your Pregnancy & Birth 4th Ed" is actually very detailed as to the hormones and stuff that are released. As an added bonus we are going over Obstetrics in Paramedic class now and it really does help cement the process in my head because the book is as detailed as my current Medic book.

There is one drawback to the reading...We both get so excited when we read it we don't want to wait another 32 weeks! Good news for you tho! By the time you read this we will have a new baby already!

Right now the baby is 1.5 to 2.0 inches long and less than an ounce but the heart is already beating. Right now he or she is still an embryo, but in the 9th week the baby becomes a fetus. I think its a lateral move. More work, but no more money kind of thing.

7 weeks 6 days

You are super excited because the Chinese birth calendar says the baby will be a girl. You don't want to get your hopes up so you get mad and excited when I talk to "my baby girl". We like the name Gracie for a girl, and it is even a G name for a girl, of which, there are not a lot of good options. We like Garrett, Gage and Gabriel. I am leaning toward Gage, but think you are liking Garrett more. Gabriel was the front runner when we had Gavin and we changed it at the last minute to Gavin. I am not even sure when it happened.

7 weeks 4 days

This time around I look at the baby book on the back of the toilet, but I can't seem to bring myself to pick it up and start reading. This makes me sad. I don't want to make excuses, but with working full-time and Paramedic school full-time and working at the fire station part-time I feel like I can't get anything else into my head right now. I play this stupid game online, because it seems to help me forget, but I know that is going to have to end soon. I need to take some time to regroup and do home stuff even if it is just for a week or so. Then again this cardiac section in school is kicking my butt so hopefully I can study in there some place too. We moved a bunch of stuff out of the basement because we want to finish it, so I am hoping that I can do that soon. We don't really have the money for that, but we are slowly getting ahead. Just in time for a new baby. Yikes.

Was this the right idea? I know you are asking yourself the same thing right now. I can't help but think "Crap! I hope we did the right thing." In my heart tho I know we can make it together. The little boat of you and me!

Deja Vu all over again.

I swore I wouldn't treat my second child any different than my first, and even tho I know that is impossible, I am writing this with that in mind.

We decided that this would be the right time to have another child because I would be finishing school in August and even if we did get pregnant in the first month of trying the baby would be born in September, besides, what are the chances that would would be so lucky again? Uh...Yeah.

You are currently 8 weeks pregnant with our second child and the butterflies in my stomach are no different than they were with our first. The miscarriage possibility looms large again and the other day you told me you were cramping. Even tho I told you it's normal to have some cramping, my heart sunk. I ask you every couple days and you haven't cramped since, but I am still so worried about you.